Michikawa companies cheat on what to do

Is that cheating?

I have known my boyfriend for a long time (have only been for 2-3 months) and we could never really meet because my problems were too strong. So we were only in the getting to know phase before.

I then decided to take a break from writing so that I can clarify my problems and my feelings.

During that time I met someone online who just wanted to help me with my problems. You person began to pay attention to me, helped me perfectly and suddenly wanted more (love, relationship). I only accepted the whole thing because the help was really, really good for me and otherwise the person would have stopped doing it. I don't take the relationship seriously, but the person is right there when I get restless or my anxiety disorder kicks in. The person always calms me down, but I don't love the person. And it is important: we only write and don't see each other personally.

Then I felt really good and I wanted to try it with my current boyfriend because I love him.
The problem is that I can no longer let go of the other person (who supports me with my problems) because I can no longer without their help.

Is that such a bad scam?
I mean he helped me to get up and then I had enough courage to finally try it with my boyfriend, so to see him for the first time. Without him I would never have made it. I am so extremely happy that I was finally able to get to know my boyfriend personally and I fell in love with him.

Just don't know how to go on Both do me really good, but I know very well that this is not fair.

And please don't say that then I won't love my boyfriend. I love him, but I don't want to use him as a therapist and bombard him with messages like this (fear, negative thoughts) 24/7. I'm afraid it'll be too much for him then.

Tips?