How to badly offend someone in Urdu
Emotional blackmail through guilt
to remind us of our obligation within the relationship: "You promised me that ..."
to remind us that they have to make a sacrifice because of us: "If you don't do it, I'll just have to give up my evening / class"
to make it clear to us that they do more for the relationship themselves: "I've already shopped four times and you haven't even bothered about it"
to point out contradictions between intent and behavior: "You're smoking again. I thought you wanted to quit."
to question our feelings: "If you cared about me, you would ..."
To signal non-verbally suffering and hurt by defying, not speaking, suffering looks, moaning, not answering.
to remember past "misdeeds" after years: "Do you remember back then ... I can never forgive you"
to compare ourselves with others: "My friend's husband also does ..." "Other mothers are very happy when they are allowed to look after their grandchildren".
to refer to the bad opinion of others: "What would your parents think of you"
to play the martyr by sacrificing themselves and trying to force us to act. "As much as I do for you, at least you have to ..."
We are all too easily manipulated through this "guilt program". We feel constricted, under pressure. But mostly resistance is also seething inside us. Apparently we only have two bad alternatives available:
1. We are guided by the ideas of the other and have the impression of being forced.
2. We do not follow his wishes and feel guilty. In the long term, feelings of guilt can put a heavy strain on a relationship or even lead to the termination of the relationship.
We are tired of seeing our freedom constantly curtailed and constantly having to walk around with a guilty conscience. If we choose the martyr role by putting aside our wishes and doing everything for the other in the hope that it will come back to us one day, we are usually in a hopeless position: Our interests are not implemented and we get nothing in return . Manipulation through emotional blackmail is not a helpful strategy when dealing with other people.
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